Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Tuesday poem: Missed
Missed
for colin
we are under the power lines under the tui admiring the self-importance in that white
bubble throat you’re wearing the tapestry waistcoat and the flying jacket heavy as a
sheep driftwood for a walking stick sharks’ teeth on your hat head cocked
to what I’m saying it’s lucky in Greece to have a bird dropping land on you
it misses us just
we howl at this are helpless with it our faces cracking the laughter fat and free
spitting up at the bird the power lines the tree we chortle it chortles we shriek it shrieks
we merry three soaring and spilling down the empty street on shiny wings see,
the boy in the garden see, Ed and his dog on the beach see, Evelyn’s lunatic cat the
bench with David’s name on it Margaret with lace gloves riding her bike we suck
and swill and spit all that’s bright all that’s ordinary all that’s upright all that
breathes in this sea-licked place until we are the brightest breathiest thing of all
there is no sign of the tui now no sign of its shit no sign of you nothing of you
no-one the air thick with chimney smoke the crescent moon dark in a navy sky
the only sound a dog barking a high cold insistent bark as if the chain is pulled too tight
around its singing throat
mary mccallum
I hope to make the Tuesday Poem a regular thing. My poems and others.
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12 comments:
Ah, we have Colin's iguana on our sleeper fence, and Sienna always runs towards it, fascinated. He sure lives on, larger indeed than life.
This is a most beautiful moving poem, full of the world's wonder. Thank you for writing it Mary
wow.
please may I print it off and show it to my advance creative group?
love the sounds. the feel of the sounds of the words in my mouth when I read it.
meh, jealous much of your gift (in a hugely admiring way)
Tania
Oh Maggie, yes, Colin has left bits of himself all over Eastbourne - all that lovely stuff of his spread amongst his friends. The iguana is gorgeous.
And thank you, Fiona, for your comment - grabbing the 'world's wonder' in those moments is what poetry is to me above all else. You lovely book of poems 'where the left hand rests' has inspired me to keep on with my poems despite fiction being the stuff I 'do' - because, like you, poetry matters to me and does something fiction can't
Tania, I am thrilled that you want to print off the poem to show your advance creative writing group - by all means do. I'd love to know what they make of it. Thank you.
Beautiful imagery. Like the breaks. Free and breezy. Wonderful.
Look forward to more.
I just love it. More please!
Thank you Rachel - the form of the poem - with the breaks - was inspired by Michele Leggott's work - it makes it difficult to format for a blog page, but I like what happens with the gaps in terms of flow and space and room to think... and for the same reason I like the longer lines
Thank you, too, Harvey - that means a lot. I might even get along to one of the open mike poetry sessions one day ...
From a non-Wellingtonian, who is/was Collin? Am intrigued.
Hi Mary
Feed back from the writing group. We spent about 15 mins discussing it. Lots of ooh and ahhh about certain phrases and words and images and the change in the tone. You would have enjoyed their enthusiastic response.
Their only complaint? They thought the word 'shit' unnecessary - they thought the association with the word and then the next phrase (no sign of you) 'dirtied' the 'you' ie Colin.
Would be interested in your response to their response.
Tania - I am blown away by the thought of this discussion - and am interested in the dislike of 'shit'. I guess I thought it gave a sudden insight into the true ugliness of losing a friend and the feeling that he and I missed the 'good luck' the bird dropping would have endowed and therefore the nice 'bird dropping' was something else... at the same time, I can see how it flows over into 'no sign of you' and will ponder on its excision. The poem would still work without it. Will you thank them all very much from me....
And Colin himself, well, where to start. A larger than life figure in his 80s, a sculptor, performer, poet, collector, artist ... who was generous and fun and full of energy and creative ideas and seemed much younger than his years. He also loved birds and animals, and laughed so hugely and so wonderfully, brightening an ordinary walk, an ordinary day. He filled Eastbourne in his short time here and is dearly missed by many. He died at home, just along the road from me, surrounded by family and friends.
missing the main ingredient
that is my daughter's comment on her homemade pizza tonight and then she reminded us of Craig - a man who died suddenly a la Rob Macdonald (same complaint - same shock- same grief)
She (the eldest) said - Mum, isn't it time to showed the world the picture book you and Craig wrote?
I'm sorry that I'm posted it on your blog cos it doesn't seem right for mine.
BTW Fire on tonight BRRR
i love that - missing the main ingredient - cheese? tomato? and the segue into Craig - you must bring out the picture book - and thank you for posting it here -
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